Three dates. One girl

21.09.19

I was so nervous, I saw you getting off the train and I couldn’t wait for you to hug me like you said you would. The nerves went away as soon as your arms where around me.

You walked me to my bus stop, luckily I missed my bus and my goodness I’m glad I did.

You’re hand in my hand felt like home. The way you looked at me was like you had seen the sunrise for the first time. You’re smile could light up the entire room, hell it lit up my entire world. The moment your soft lips kissed mine, I knew I was yours. It was like my whole body become electrifying. When our lips met, it was like you were the only person I’ve kissed.

23.09.19

I sat opposite you on the bus and just seeing you smiling and laughing was enough to make my day already. Being able to hold your hand was spectacular.

It was windy but we didn’t care about the weather. Laying on the beach with you was unbelievable, we didn’t care about the sand between our toes or how soaked I was from going into the sea. You laid with me anyway.

That sweet moment with you, where our lips met again was phenomenal. Our legs intertwined and our arms locked around each other, was like heaven. The bus ride home, I fell asleep laying on your legs and you didn’t mind. You played with my hair and woke me up when we arrived back in the city.

25.09.19

Sea life world with you was sensational, seeing the turtles and all the other sea life animal. Buying me a turtle necklace and myself buying you a penguin snow globe. You meeting some of my family and don’t mind them being slightly insane.

From helping with moving boxes to cuddling on my bed, and you asking me to be your girlfriend.

Three dates, days apart and my feelings for you grow stronger everyday. You’re incredible, being with you is mind-blowing

You’re my favourite thought. You’re the girl everybody dreams about but I’m lucky enough to call you mine.

My forever pup

Now you’re our angel watching us from above instead of watching us eat our food from the living room floor.

17.09.11, The day you came to us was a day I’ll never forget. I saw something wriggling on mums lap, I asked her if it was a cat. She laughed at me, I walked closer to find your little face buried in the blanket of my mother’s arms. You were this tiny little pup, cute as ever. And you became our world. We taught you so many little things, but the one thing you did not do was bark. We never understood why, but you were still perfect to us. You’re life in our home was adventure, you had so many people come and play with you, you loved every toy you got. You ripped the stuffing out of all the ones you could. And you loved going on walks especially to the park or the woodland area around where we lived. You would snuggle into anywhere you could fit and you loved being snuggled up to your family. You never did really sleep in your bed, you always sneaked into everyone else’s instead. Walking up to you laying beside me or at the bottom of the bed. You use to crawl up and just flop next to me, and roll over as much as you could. You were such a snuggly little pup. You loved getting attention.

I remember the day you first barked, we were all so shocked. As you grew you always barked at the postman/women, really you barked at anyone you could, even a car going past. You knew when we were upset, you would come and trying to cuddle up to show that you were there, you knew when we were sick and you knew when we were happy.

You were my favourite dog and the only dog that took a piece of my heart, I love you with everything I have.

We moved house, and You started getting sick but we couldn’t really figure out why, the vets couldn’t find anything. Unfortunately Christmas Day 2019 was the day you grew your wings and learnt how to fly. Unfortunately that was the day god decided to take our angel away. You served this family well princess, you’re were our little warrior. 8 years of loving fun with you. You’ll always have a piece of my heart, you’ll always be my forever pup

Take me back…

Take me back to the night we met. So I can forget,

My heart didn’t realise you were such a threat, I thought that we made a perfect duet,

All I can remember is the last “I love you” on my headset. You effected my oxygen dept,

Now I’m trying to look at you without becoming upset,

You made me have such a mind set, now in my mind you’re just a silhouette,

I guess I was never really your Juliet.

She said,

“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”

Madness of my mind

A heart that always understands, also gets tired. There are moments when I’m tired and all of a sudden I’m not the sleepy kind of tired, It’s like the world has drained me for everything I had. I am strong but I am tired.

I’m tired of feeling unworthy. I’m tired of feeling ugly.

I’m tired of feeling like I don’t have many people around me.

I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of feeling unloved.

I’m tired of pretending I’m happy, when all I do is cry, I guess you could say I’m tired of trying to be stronger than I am because what doesn’t kill you, fucks you up mentally. Tears are words that the heart can’t speak. It’s like some days I feel like my batteries are running low and other days they are dead completely.

I’m somewhere between i should give up and and let’s see how much more I can take. I haven’t given up yet, maybe there’s some logical reason that I haven’t. Maybe in the end all the tiredness will be worth it.

 

Erratic Emotions

My eyes itch from crying, My body feels like dying,

My heart keeps on trying, My mind thinks I’m lying,

I wish I could keep flying, It’s all about timing,

What am I Implying, Maybe I should keep fake smiling,

I know It’s horrifying, maybe even terrifying,

I’m always sighing, It’ll be justifying,

Also clarifying, The reason I’m always fighting,

Don’t worry I’m gonna keep shining, because I’m rising,

It’s so glorifying.