My safe person

She became my safe person.

She is the gold who holds my hand when I get anxious in public, she’s the one who would hug me until I was calm. So patient and never rushing anything.
She is the one would make me laugh even when I didn’t want to, but it felt good to laugh with her. She is the one who knows my flaws and does her best to make me feel comfortable.

She is the one who has always been there for me, when friends have come and gone, when family didn’t understand my feelings or why I was acting the way I was. She was there, she is there.

She is my safe person.

She is the person who makes me feel more secure and less like I’m a crazy person. I feel better when she’s around and I can deal with situations with her by my side. Better than I ever would have alone.

She is the person who is there and always will be, she’s the one I text straight away with good news, she’s the one who constantly says she proud of me for getting through difficult situations or for getting a new job and copping with the change. She’s the person I could and can lean on in difficult times, she’s the person that will lay with me when I feel terrible and she’s the person who comforts me the most. She’s the one who makes me a cup of tea every morning score I go to work, she’s the one who comforts me when I’ve had a bad day at work. She’s the one I dreamt about and she’s the one I have to call my love.

She is my safe person, and I’ve never had a safe person until now.

6 Months. One girl ❤️

25th September 2019

The day my life changed, the day we sat on my bed after helping move things into the loft. We sat on my bed and I fell asleep lying next to you. It felt like I was finally safe. I was in the right arms, at the right time.

The day you asked if I would be your girlfriend, we were standing there in the car park just as you were about to leave my house. You kissed me, and then asked me to be your girlfriend.

It’s you. You’re the one I wanted.

6 months later and we are still together and still going strong. You are the love of my life, you’re the person I have always wanted to be with and genuinely you are the right person for me. The person I wasn’t looking for, we just met at the right time. I tried to put up all my walls because I was so used to get hurt, that I didn’t think you’d be able to break them all down and love me for me but you have. I started caring for you, not knowing I would care for you more than I have ever cared for anyone. I get lost in your eyes daily. Your beauty is beyond anything in this world of mine. I’ll forever thank the universe for putting me in wilkos as the security guard, for finally meeting you. I truly love you with all my heart. You’re everything to me.

You’re the one I will always want to come home to after a bad day at work, you’re the one I will always want to roll over to in the middle of the night and wake up to you every day for the rest of my life. You’re the one I will always want to go on cute little dates. You’re the one I will always want to go on fun, exhilarating adventure with. You’re the one I want to stay in forever with and build a fort while we watch over favourite movies and eat our favourite snacks. You’re the one I will always try to make happy for the rest of my life. You’re the one I want to love, and to hold when times get tough. The one I want to be there for when the world comes crashing down. Through all my good days and bad days, you’re e one I want to spend them with.

And I swear to you, I have never been more sure about someone or something in my entire life. Without a single doubt in my mind.

It’s you. You’re the one.

It’ll always be you

Three dates. One girl

21.09.19

I was so nervous, I saw you getting off the train and I couldn’t wait for you to hug me like you said you would. The nerves went away as soon as your arms where around me.

You walked me to my bus stop, luckily I missed my bus and my goodness I’m glad I did.

You’re hand in my hand felt like home. The way you looked at me was like you had seen the sunrise for the first time. You’re smile could light up the entire room, hell it lit up my entire world. The moment your soft lips kissed mine, I knew I was yours. It was like my whole body become electrifying. When our lips met, it was like you were the only person I’ve kissed.

23.09.19

I sat opposite you on the bus and just seeing you smiling and laughing was enough to make my day already. Being able to hold your hand was spectacular.

It was windy but we didn’t care about the weather. Laying on the beach with you was unbelievable, we didn’t care about the sand between our toes or how soaked I was from going into the sea. You laid with me anyway.

That sweet moment with you, where our lips met again was phenomenal. Our legs intertwined and our arms locked around each other, was like heaven. The bus ride home, I fell asleep laying on your legs and you didn’t mind. You played with my hair and woke me up when we arrived back in the city.

25.09.19

Sea life world with you was sensational, seeing the turtles and all the other sea life animal. Buying me a turtle necklace and myself buying you a penguin snow globe. You meeting some of my family and don’t mind them being slightly insane.

From helping with moving boxes to cuddling on my bed, and you asking me to be your girlfriend.

Three dates, days apart and my feelings for you grow stronger everyday. You’re incredible, being with you is mind-blowing

You’re my favourite thought. You’re the girl everybody dreams about but I’m lucky enough to call you mine.

She said,

“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”

Love has no distance

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in loving the one you’re with. If you have to work towards the same happiness as well. You have to enjoy their craziness as much as they enjoy yours. Care for each other like there’s no tomorrow. Distance is hard. You end up loving deeply and being without their touch kills you. Sometimes it’ll hurt not being next to each other, wondering when the next time will be. Sometimes there are missed calls and texts back later than normal but you’re both working towards a future where you’ll both live in the same house. On a cosy Sunday morning, pancakes are made, reading a book or watching your favourite TV series with a blanket covering both of you. Love has no bounds. Love has no distance. Love is love.

The feeling

It will never go away,

That feeling of wanting to run,

That feeling of heartache,

That feeling of being worthless,

Because little does everyone know,

I’m breaking inside,

The feeling that I’m worthless,

The heartache,

Wanting to run,

I’ve tried,

I’m trying to pick myself up piece by piece.

Underneath it all, I still have that hole inside,

I just need a little more time.

 

 

Stay strong, Be proud

My whole life I’ve had people try and tear me down for the things I’ve believed in or for my dreams. Many people said how i wouldn’t succeed  and that i would be rubbish at it. being someone who got bullied a lot throughout my childhood and high school, I let people tear me down and get to me. I let them bully me because I didn’t think I was strong enough to fight them, and tell them that i will succeed. Being bullied took a toll on what I wanted to do in life, even the doctors told me i couldn’t do my dreams.

The reason for this blog is because today one of those people tried to tear me down like they did in high school. I didn’t let it get to me and I didn’t react to it either. I just let it slip by because If you don’t react then in the end they will get tired of bully someone who isn’t listening and carrying on with their dreams because they know they are better and can and will succeed. Being one of many who have been bullied, I always believed that the bully weren’t happy with themselves so they tried to drag down the people who were succeeding and making potential. They hated seeing other people happy, they didn’t like that you loved yourself.

So to anyone who’s ever been bullied, don’t let them tear you down, don’t let them get into your head and mess with your mind. Everybody is unique and will succeed. All you have to do is push them away, out of your mind, out of your life.  Take a step back and look at yourself everyday and say “I’m a winner at life, i will succeed. i will become my dreams!” I say this to myself everyday. I have people telling me how I’m such an inspiration, how I’m going to go far in life because I chose to ignore the people telling i was a nobody. I’m no longer a NOBODY!

To the people trying to bring anyone down, it isn’t working. Stop tearing people down, try and find happiness with yourself.

To the people who feel worthless and unwanted, broken and bullied. You are strong, you should be proud. And you are worth everything you are. Stay strong, be proud and live your life the way you want to