My forever pup

Now you’re our angel watching us from above instead of watching us eat our food from the living room floor.

17.09.11, The day you came to us was a day I’ll never forget. I saw something wriggling on mums lap, I asked her if it was a cat. She laughed at me, I walked closer to find your little face buried in the blanket of my mother’s arms. You were this tiny little pup, cute as ever. And you became our world. We taught you so many little things, but the one thing you did not do was bark. We never understood why, but you were still perfect to us. You’re life in our home was adventure, you had so many people come and play with you, you loved every toy you got. You ripped the stuffing out of all the ones you could. And you loved going on walks especially to the park or the woodland area around where we lived. You would snuggle into anywhere you could fit and you loved being snuggled up to your family. You never did really sleep in your bed, you always sneaked into everyone else’s instead. Walking up to you laying beside me or at the bottom of the bed. You use to crawl up and just flop next to me, and roll over as much as you could. You were such a snuggly little pup. You loved getting attention.

I remember the day you first barked, we were all so shocked. As you grew you always barked at the postman/women, really you barked at anyone you could, even a car going past. You knew when we were upset, you would come and trying to cuddle up to show that you were there, you knew when we were sick and you knew when we were happy.

You were my favourite dog and the only dog that took a piece of my heart, I love you with everything I have.

We moved house, and You started getting sick but we couldn’t really figure out why, the vets couldn’t find anything. Unfortunately Christmas Day 2019 was the day you grew your wings and learnt how to fly. Unfortunately that was the day god decided to take our angel away. You served this family well princess, you’re were our little warrior. 8 years of loving fun with you. You’ll always have a piece of my heart, you’ll always be my forever pup

To my best friend T

I know you may be a sleep right now…

but I’m hoping when you wake up you’ll feel a little better.

Because of you, I laugh a little harder. Cry a little less and smile a lot more. They say a girls best friend is diamonds but actually my best friend is a diamond. I don’t know how to thank you for always being there for me and always making sure I’m okay, I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I compare you to a mirror and a shadow, because a mirror doesn’t lie, and a shadow never leaves. You’re my best friend because you’re not afraid to be in my life, You’re the friend everyone should have. You are hands down my favourite person. So and I quote “ you’ve got troubles, I’ve got ‘em too but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, we stick together and see it through. You’ve got a friend in me”

She said,

“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”

When will you realise

Do I protect my heart from being crushed more times than I can handle and let go?

Or do I continue being treated like I’m not even part of your life?

Either way it’s going to break my heart, but if I let go then maybe I won’t keep getting my hopes up.

Maybe I will realise I’m worth more than how you treat me

This whole year I’ve seen you 3 times.

When will you start acting like … or maybe I’m just dreaming of that happening.

Letting go of being part of your life would start so much grief and trouble that I’ve been doubting it for months. But each time you let me down it gives me more and more reasons to let go…

Each time you give me a reason to believe you don’t deserve me

You don’t deserve me constantly trying to be a apart of your life

You don’t deserve me at all

Hell did you even want me?

Maybe you’ll realise what you’ve done. What you’ve lost. Who you’ve lost.

The feeling

It will never go away,

That feeling of wanting to run,

That feeling of heartache,

That feeling of being worthless,

Because little does everyone know,

I’m breaking inside,

The feeling that I’m worthless,

The heartache,

Wanting to run,

I’ve tried,

I’m trying to pick myself up piece by piece.

Underneath it all, I still have that hole inside,

I just need a little more time.