“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”
My eyes itch from crying, My body feels like dying,
My heart keeps on trying, My mind thinks I’m lying,
I wish I could keep flying, It’s all about timing,
What am I Implying, Maybe I should keep fake smiling,
I know It’s horrifying, maybe even terrifying,
I’m always sighing, It’ll be justifying,
Also clarifying, The reason I’m always fighting,
Don’t worry I’m gonna keep shining, because I’m rising,
It’s so glorifying.
Find that someone who stays by your side and let’s you achieve your dreams. Someone who know the difference between love and restriction. Someone who helps you chase your dreams instead of forcing you to be the person you hate becoming. Someone who explores the world with you instead of telling you not to go. Someone who’s not afraid to walk hand in hand with you wherever you are. Someone who asks you how your day was or what you’re doing without that doubt in their voice like you’re lying or hiding something. Someone who’s worried that you got home safe instead of worrying where you’ve gone and who you are with. Someone who you can be honest with without feeling judged. Someone who when you are in an anxious state, can pull you out of it and make you smile. Someone who even when you are apart can reassure you that they are safe and that they are there.
Love instead of restriction.
I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in loving the one you’re with. If you have to work towards the same happiness as well. You have to enjoy their craziness as much as they enjoy yours. Care for each other like there’s no tomorrow. Distance is hard. You end up loving deeply and being without their touch kills you. Sometimes it’ll hurt not being next to each other, wondering when the next time will be. Sometimes there are missed calls and texts back later than normal but you’re both working towards a future where you’ll both live in the same house. On a cosy Sunday morning, pancakes are made, reading a book or watching your favourite TV series with a blanket covering both of you. Love has no bounds. Love has no distance. Love is love.
Most 8 year old’s have a normal life, have friends, go to the park and you know the normal things you would do.
I was the little girl in the corner, shy and afraid. I shined my brightest when I was on stage. I danced and acted, I joined the choir. I was showing people what I could do so I wasn’t the girl in the corner. I was bullied a lot because of my learning difficulties and health issues. The stage was my safe place.
12 years lately…
And I’m still the girl on the stage except now, I fight for who I am and what I want to be. I’m now saying I have a better life, but it’s better than before. Sometimes I still think I’m the little girl in the corner but I then remember how far I’ve come, I get up and shine. I just need to remember I am not the shy girl in the corner. I am the girl on the stage. The girl on the stage who doesn’t have to hide who she is .
This is me.. confessing that I am still in love with you.
I hope you think of me. I hope you think of the stainless steel ring pierced in my nose and the brown arch shape of my eyebrows. I hope you think of my beating chest against your body as i breathed for you. It was all for you. I hope you think of my baby blue eyes lighting up as i smiled when i looked at you. And i hope you realise you’ll never see me smile at you again.
I hope it hurts.
I hope each letter of my name are written in black ink on your pulsing heart. And I hope the next person you “fall in love” with sees the marks I left on you. Oh it may not have been good but my goodness it is permanent. I hope their name feels out of place coming off the end of your pink tongue because you were so used to saying my name.
You see, from the very beginning of you walking to my door I wanted to inscribe myself into you. I wanted to insert my signature with gold lettering so it’s forever. I wanted it to look pretty but we were over so fast I had to scratch it into your back with my fingers. I still have our memories encrusted in my mind, every night and every day the thoughts of you and I are that, we are now strangers so all I have left are the the memories of who we were. Who you were when we were together, like I have the shreds of our printed out pictures that I couldn’t quite throw out.
I hope you haven’t let go of me just yet, please don’t tell me if you have. I hope you think of me, because if i’m honest all i do is think about it you
Ever looked at someone and thought so much about them?
The way they look at you. The way they smile. The way they have their hair. How they move, walk, talk. Everything you see matters because you may see that person on a daily basis but you have no idea what else is going on around the walls they guard themselves with.
People are afraid of what others thing everyday which is why so many people have built walls to protect themselves so people don’t know what they go through or are going through. Many people are going through something so hard to explain to someone who has everyday right in front of them.
To the people who have a good life and aren’t going through tremendous amounts of life problems causing them to hurt, to be angry at the world for everything they are going through, think about what you say. Some days when you are flaunting your life about how good it is, how you get what you want without working for it. Try thinking about how other people who are going through a tough time have to work their arse’s off just to get a piece of what they want, because they aren’t as fortunate as you and don’t have it all. They are struggling on a daily basis without saying a word to anyone.
Just think about what you say before you know what goes on behind closed doors.
My whole life I’ve had people try and tear me down for the things I’ve believed in or for my dreams. Many people said how i wouldn’t succeed and that i would be rubbish at it. being someone who got bullied a lot throughout my childhood and high school, I let people tear me down and get to me. I let them bully me because I didn’t think I was strong enough to fight them, and tell them that i will succeed. Being bullied took a toll on what I wanted to do in life, even the doctors told me i couldn’t do my dreams.
The reason for this blog is because today one of those people tried to tear me down like they did in high school. I didn’t let it get to me and I didn’t react to it either. I just let it slip by because If you don’t react then in the end they will get tired of bully someone who isn’t listening and carrying on with their dreams because they know they are better and can and will succeed. Being one of many who have been bullied, I always believed that the bully weren’t happy with themselves so they tried to drag down the people who were succeeding and making potential. They hated seeing other people happy, they didn’t like that you loved yourself.
So to anyone who’s ever been bullied, don’t let them tear you down, don’t let them get into your head and mess with your mind. Everybody is unique and will succeed. All you have to do is push them away, out of your mind, out of your life. Take a step back and look at yourself everyday and say “I’m a winner at life, i will succeed. i will become my dreams!” I say this to myself everyday. I have people telling me how I’m such an inspiration, how I’m going to go far in life because I chose to ignore the people telling i was a nobody. I’m no longer a NOBODY!
To the people trying to bring anyone down, it isn’t working. Stop tearing people down, try and find happiness with yourself.
To the people who feel worthless and unwanted, broken and bullied. You are strong, you should be proud. And you are worth everything you are. Stay strong, be proud and live your life the way you want to