I haven’t met you yet, but meeting you will be like a great love story. You make my heart beat faster, you make me lose sense of time, you make me forget it all. You make me feel that hope and fate are on our side. But here I am, reading a great love story on my own. Trying to keep reading but all I can imagine is you and I. I’m laying on my bed, feeling one hundred different emotions towards how I feel about you. How reading this book makes me feel paralyzed but I know you’ll get me to dance.
I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in loving the one you’re with. If you having to work towards the same happiness as well. You have to enjoy their craziness as much as they enjoy yours. Care for each other like there’s no tomorrow. Distance is hard. You end up loving deeply and being without their touch kills you. Sometimes it’ll hurt not being next to each other, wondering when the next time will be. Sometimes there are missed calls and texts back later than normal but you’re both working towards a future where you’ll both live in the same house. On a cosy Sunday morning, pancakes are made, reading a book or watching your favourite TV series with a blanket covering both of you. Love has no bounds. Love has no distance. Love is love.
Did he really mean what he said? Did he really see there being an “us”? Why did he go so soon?
These questions roaming my mind, getting jealous before I can even officially call him mine. Catching feelings not knowing if it was mutual. A day in you’re arms was all I thought about.
See the thing is you expressed your feelings to me too quickly before you turned your back. Little did you know I already had, still do have feelings for you. But after a while replies becomes longer, minutes turned into hours. Finding out that your “busy” is taking your attention to someone else. While I sit there and wait for that reply, someone else already has it. Mean while I’m fading away, and that girl is getting your attention.
There was never going to be an “us” was there?
There was just you, me and a few text messages.
You left me enough to not want me anymore. You left me enough to not want to feel my arms wrapped you. Enough for you not to want to feel my soft pink lips against yours. You left me enough to not want to spend every weekend waking up to seeing my baby blue eyes and my thick long blonde hair. For me to wake up next to you to see your big smile and slim body. Your brown hair and the way your voice sounds with that sleepy american accent.
Yet… After a year and a half you came back but you left England. Why have you come back?
Most 8 year old’s have a normal life, have friends, go to the park and you know the normal things you would do.
I was the little girl in the corner, shy and afraid. I shined my brightest when I was on stage. I danced and acted, I joined the choir. I was showing people what I could do so I wasn’t the girl in the corner. I was bullied a lot because of my learning difficulties and health issues. The stage was my safe place.
12 years lately…
And I’m still the girl on the stage except now, I fight for who I am and what I want to be. I’m now saying I have a better life, but it’s better than before. Sometimes I still think I’m the little girl in the corner but I then remember how far I’ve come, I get up and shine. I just need to remember I am not the shy girl in the corner. I am the girl on the stage. The girl on the stage who doesn’t have to hide who she is .
Ever wondered what it would be like to be in a never ending maze?
That’s the best way to describe my mind as if I’m stuck repeating the same mistakes everyday. Wherever I’ve been, where ever I am, the loudness constantly screeches in my ears like bats being awoken. My heart is split into a thousand pieces like shattered glass. Within my body crumbles in excruciating pain from running, running miles and miles to end up right back where I started.
How many months or years can a photography project take?, is there a point where one can say “it’s done”? … Luckily in this dehumanized world some still keep their promises (though it took me longer than I expected). Several weeks ago (in fact months) I told in a previous post I was going to […]