I’m losing you

I’m losing you to drugs, I never thought I’d ever say that but I am. When I first met you, you were so different and so anti-drugs, we laughed for hours even on bad days. We were inseparable and there wasn’t a day where I didn’t want to spend it with you cause you made me laugh and smile. You were my best friend, you are my best friend. You always will be. But you’ve changed, you aren’t the same anymore. Maybe it’s because of all the things you’ve been through, your life hasn’t been easy but this choice isn’t the best one to deal with it. You don’t see it and your keeping it from your mum because she wouldn’t like it and your lying to everyone. You’re not the same best friend I know and love. We don’t talk the same anymore, we don’t laugh the same anymore. I’m losing you and there’s nothing I can do because to you I’m in the wrong and I don’t know what I’m talking about. There’s nothing I can say or do to make you realise it’s not good for you.

Please please please, realise before it’s too late. Not just for my sake, for your family’s too. They love and adore you, just like me. And you can get through anything, but drug isn’t the answer.

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Take me back…

Take me back to the night we met. So I can forget,

My heart didn’t realise you were such a threat, I thought that we made a perfect duet,

All I can remember is the last “I love you” on my headset. You effected my oxygen dept,

Now I’m trying to look at you without becoming upset,

You made me have such a mind set, now in my mind you’re just a silhouette,

I guess I was never really your Juliet.

She said,

“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”

Madness of my mind

A heart that always understands, also gets tired. There are moments when I’m tired and all of a sudden I’m not the sleepy kind of tired, It’s like the world has drained me for everything I had. I am strong but I am tired.

I’m tired of feeling unworthy. I’m tired of feeling ugly.

I’m tired of feeling like I don’t have many people around me.

I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of feeling unloved.

I’m tired of pretending I’m happy, when all I do is cry, I guess you could say I’m tired of trying to be stronger than I am because what doesn’t kill you, fucks you up mentally. Tears are words that the heart can’t speak. It’s like some days I feel like my batteries are running low and other days they are dead completely.

I’m somewhere between i should give up and and let’s see how much more I can take. I haven’t given up yet, maybe there’s some logical reason that I haven’t. Maybe in the end all the tiredness will be worth it.

 

Erratic Emotions

My eyes itch from crying, My body feels like dying,

My heart keeps on trying, My mind thinks I’m lying,

I wish I could keep flying, It’s all about timing,

What am I Implying, Maybe I should keep fake smiling,

I know It’s horrifying, maybe even terrifying,

I’m always sighing, It’ll be justifying,

Also clarifying, The reason I’m always fighting,

Don’t worry I’m gonna keep shining, because I’m rising,

It’s so glorifying.

Love instead of restriction

Find  that someone who stays by your side and let’s you achieve your dreams. Someone who know the difference between love and restriction. Someone who helps you chase your dreams instead of forcing you to be the person you hate becoming. Someone who explores the world with you instead of telling you not to go. Someone who’s not afraid to walk hand in hand with you wherever you are. Someone who asks you how your day was or what you’re doing without that doubt in their voice like you’re lying or hiding something. Someone who’s worried that you got home safe instead of worrying where you’ve gone and who you are with. Someone who you can be honest with without feeling judged. Someone who when you are in an anxious state, can pull you out of it and make you smile. Someone who even when you are apart can reassure you that they are safe and that they are there.

Love instead of restriction.

Love has no distance

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in loving the one you’re with. If you have to work towards the same happiness as well. You have to enjoy their craziness as much as they enjoy yours. Care for each other like there’s no tomorrow. Distance is hard. You end up loving deeply and being without their touch kills you. Sometimes it’ll hurt not being next to each other, wondering when the next time will be. Sometimes there are missed calls and texts back later than normal but you’re both working towards a future where you’ll both live in the same house. On a cosy Sunday morning, pancakes are made, reading a book or watching your favourite TV series with a blanket covering both of you. Love has no bounds. Love has no distance. Love is love.