Three dates. One girl

21.09.19

I was so nervous, I saw you getting off the train and I couldn’t wait for you to hug me like you said you would. The nerves went away as soon as your arms where around me.

You walked me to my bus stop, luckily I missed my bus and my goodness I’m glad I did.

You’re hand in my hand felt like home. The way you looked at me was like you had seen the sunrise for the first time. You’re smile could light up the entire room, hell it lit up my entire world. The moment your soft lips kissed mine, I knew I was yours. It was like my whole body become electrifying. When our lips met, it was like you were the only person I’ve kissed.

23.09.19

I sat opposite you on the bus and just seeing you smiling and laughing was enough to make my day already. Being able to hold your hand was spectacular.

It was windy but we didn’t care about the weather. Laying on the beach with you was unbelievable, we didn’t care about the sand between our toes or how soaked I was from going into the sea. You laid with me anyway.

That sweet moment with you, where our lips met again was phenomenal. Our legs intertwined and our arms locked around each other, was like heaven. The bus ride home, I fell asleep laying on your legs and you didn’t mind. You played with my hair and woke me up when we arrived back in the city.

25.09.19

Sea life world with you was sensational, seeing the turtles and all the other sea life animal. Buying me a turtle necklace and myself buying you a penguin snow globe. You meeting some of my family and don’t mind them being slightly insane.

From helping with moving boxes to cuddling on my bed, and you asking me to be your girlfriend.

Three dates, days apart and my feelings for you grow stronger everyday. You’re incredible, being with you is mind-blowing

You’re my favourite thought. You’re the girl everybody dreams about but I’m lucky enough to call you mine.

She said,

“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”

Erratic Emotions

My eyes itch from crying, My body feels like dying,

My heart keeps on trying, My mind thinks I’m lying,

I wish I could keep flying, It’s all about timing,

What am I Implying, Maybe I should keep fake smiling,

I know It’s horrifying, maybe even terrifying,

I’m always sighing, It’ll be justifying,

Also clarifying, The reason I’m always fighting,

Don’t worry I’m gonna keep shining, because I’m rising,

It’s so glorifying.

Love instead of restriction

Find  that someone who stays by your side and let’s you achieve your dreams. Someone who know the difference between love and restriction. Someone who helps you chase your dreams instead of forcing you to be the person you hate becoming. Someone who explores the world with you instead of telling you not to go. Someone who’s not afraid to walk hand in hand with you wherever you are. Someone who asks you how your day was or what you’re doing without that doubt in their voice like you’re lying or hiding something. Someone who’s worried that you got home safe instead of worrying where you’ve gone and who you are with. Someone who you can be honest with without feeling judged. Someone who when you are in an anxious state, can pull you out of it and make you smile. Someone who even when you are apart can reassure you that they are safe and that they are there.

Love instead of restriction.

Love has no distance

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I believe in loving the one you’re with. If you have to work towards the same happiness as well. You have to enjoy their craziness as much as they enjoy yours. Care for each other like there’s no tomorrow. Distance is hard. You end up loving deeply and being without their touch kills you. Sometimes it’ll hurt not being next to each other, wondering when the next time will be. Sometimes there are missed calls and texts back later than normal but you’re both working towards a future where you’ll both live in the same house. On a cosy Sunday morning, pancakes are made, reading a book or watching your favourite TV series with a blanket covering both of you. Love has no bounds. Love has no distance. Love is love.

you, me and a few text messages

Did he really mean what he said? Did he really see there being an “us”? Why did he go so soon?

These questions roaming my mind, getting jealous before I can even officially call him mine. Catching feelings not knowing if it was mutual. A day in you’re arms was all I thought about.

See the thing is you expressed your feelings to me too quickly before you turned your back. Little did you know I already had, still do have feelings for you. But after a while replies becomes longer, minutes turned into hours. Finding out that your “busy” is taking your attention to someone else. While I sit there and wait for that reply, someone else already has it. Mean while I’m fading away, and that girl is getting your attention.

There was never going to be an “us” was there?

There was just you, me and a few text messages.

You left me

You left me enough to not want me anymore. You left me enough to not want to feel my arms wrapped you. Enough for you not to want to feel my soft pink lips against yours. You left me enough to not want to spend every weekend waking up to seeing my baby blue eyes and my thick long blonde hair. For me to wake up next to you to see your big smile and slim body. Your brown hair and the way your voice sounds with that sleepy american accent.

Yet… After a year and a half you came back. Why?