She said,

“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”

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Madness of my mind

A heart that always understands, also gets tired. There are moments when I’m tired and all of a sudden I’m not the sleepy kind of tired, It’s like the world has drained me for everything I had. I am strong but I am tired.

I’m tired of feeling unworthy. I’m tired of feeling ugly.

I’m tired of feeling like I don’t have many people around me.

I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of feeling unloved.

I’m tired of pretending I’m happy, when all I do is cry, I guess you could say I’m tired of trying to be stronger than I am because what doesn’t kill you, fucks you up mentally. Tears are words that the heart can’t speak. It’s like some days I feel like my batteries are running low and other days they are dead completely.

I’m somewhere between i should give up and and let’s see how much more I can take. I haven’t given up yet, maybe there’s some logical reason that I haven’t. Maybe in the end all the tiredness will be worth it.

 

Erratic Emotions

My eyes itch from crying, My body feels like dying,

My heart keeps on trying, My mind thinks I’m lying,

I wish I could keep flying, It’s all about timing,

What am I Implying, Maybe I should keep fake smiling,

I know It’s horrifying, maybe even terrifying,

I’m always sighing, It’ll be justifying,

Also clarifying, The reason I’m always fighting,

Don’t worry I’m gonna keep shining, because I’m rising,

It’s so glorifying.

Love instead of restriction

Find  that someone who stays by your side and let’s you achieve your dreams. Someone who know the difference between love and restriction. Someone who helps you chase your dreams instead of forcing you to be the person you hate becoming. Someone who explores the world with you instead of telling you not to go. Someone who’s not afraid to walk hand in hand with you wherever you are. Someone who asks you how your day was or what you’re doing without that doubt in their voice like you’re lying or hiding something. Someone who’s worried that you got home safe instead of worrying where you’ve gone and who you are with. Someone who you can be honest with without feeling judged. Someone who when you are in an anxious state, can pull you out of it and make you smile. Someone who even when you are apart can reassure you that they are safe and that they are there.

Love instead of restriction.

You left me

You left me enough to not want me anymore. You left me enough to not want to feel my arms wrapped you. Enough for you not to want to feel my soft pink lips against yours. You left me enough to not want to spend every weekend waking up to seeing my baby blue eyes and my thick long blonde hair. For me to wake up next to you to see your big smile and slim body. Your brown hair and the way your voice sounds with that sleepy american accent.

Yet… After a year and a half you came back. Why?