I’m losing you

I’m losing you to drugs, I never thought I’d ever say that but I am. When I first met you, you were so different and so anti-drugs, we laughed for hours even on bad days. We were inseparable and there wasn’t a day where I didn’t want to spend it with you cause you made me laugh and smile. You were my best friend, you are my best friend. You always will be. But you’ve changed, you aren’t the same anymore. Maybe it’s because of all the things you’ve been through, your life hasn’t been easy but this choice isn’t the best one to deal with it. You don’t see it and your keeping it from your mum because she wouldn’t like it and your lying to everyone. You’re not the same best friend I know and love. We don’t talk the same anymore, we don’t laugh the same anymore. I’m losing you and there’s nothing I can do because to you I’m in the wrong and I don’t know what I’m talking about. There’s nothing I can say or do to make you realise it’s not good for you.

Please please please, realise before it’s too late. Not just for my sake, for your family’s too. They love and adore you, just like me. And you can get through anything, but drug isn’t the answer.

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To my best friend T

I know you may be a sleep right now…

but I’m hoping when you wake up you’ll feel a little better.

Because of you, I laugh a little harder. Cry a little less and smile a lot more. They say a girls best friend is diamonds but actually my best friend is a diamond. I don’t know how to thank you for always being there for me and always making sure I’m okay, I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I compare you to a mirror and a shadow, because a mirror doesn’t lie, and a shadow never leaves. You’re my best friend because you’re not afraid to be in my life, You’re the friend everyone should have. You are hands down my favourite person. So and I quote “ you’ve got troubles, I’ve got ‘em too but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, we stick together and see it through. You’ve got a friend in me”

Take me back…

Take me back to the night we met. So I can forget,

My heart didn’t realise you were such a threat, I thought that we made a perfect duet,

All I can remember is the last “I love you” on my headset. You effected my oxygen dept,

Now I’m trying to look at you without becoming upset,

You made me have such a mind set, now in my mind you’re just a silhouette,

I guess I was never really your Juliet.

She said,

“I give up, this feeling is making my warm heart go cold” but her heart hugged her mind and said “not yet, love. There is more to this than giving up on someone you love. I need you to believe in me, my precious mind. The same way I’ve always believed in you, keep fighting mind, for I the heart of her is not going cold just yet”

Madness of my mind

A heart that always understands, also gets tired. There are moments when I’m tired and all of a sudden I’m not the sleepy kind of tired, It’s like the world has drained me for everything I had. I am strong but I am tired.

I’m tired of feeling unworthy. I’m tired of feeling ugly.

I’m tired of feeling like I don’t have many people around me.

I’m tired of being ignored. I’m tired of feeling unloved.

I’m tired of pretending I’m happy, when all I do is cry, I guess you could say I’m tired of trying to be stronger than I am because what doesn’t kill you, fucks you up mentally. Tears are words that the heart can’t speak. It’s like some days I feel like my batteries are running low and other days they are dead completely.

I’m somewhere between i should give up and and let’s see how much more I can take. I haven’t given up yet, maybe there’s some logical reason that I haven’t. Maybe in the end all the tiredness will be worth it.

 

Erratic Emotions

My eyes itch from crying, My body feels like dying,

My heart keeps on trying, My mind thinks I’m lying,

I wish I could keep flying, It’s all about timing,

What am I Implying, Maybe I should keep fake smiling,

I know It’s horrifying, maybe even terrifying,

I’m always sighing, It’ll be justifying,

Also clarifying, The reason I’m always fighting,

Don’t worry I’m gonna keep shining, because I’m rising,

It’s so glorifying.