you, me and a few text messages

Did he really mean what he said? Did he really see there being an “us”? Why did he go so soon?

These questions roaming my mind, getting jealous before I can even officially call him mine. Catching feelings not knowing if it was mutual. A day in you’re arms was all I thought about.

See the thing is you expressed your feelings to me too quickly before you turned your back. Little did you know I already had, still do have feelings for you. But after a while replies becomes longer, minutes turned into hours. Finding out that your “busy” is taking your attention to someone else. While I sit there and wait for that reply, someone else already has it. Mean while I’m fading away, and that girl is getting your attention.

There was never going to be an “us” was there?

There was just you, me and a few text messages.

Advertisements

You left me

You left me enough to not want me anymore. You left me enough to not want to feel my arms wrapped you. Enough for you not to want to feel my soft pink lips against yours. You left me enough to not want to spend every weekend waking up to seeing my baby blue eyes and my thick long blonde hair. For me to wake up next to you to see your big smile and slim body. Your brown hair and the way your voice sounds with that sleepy american accent.

Yet… After a year and a half you came back. Why?

 

12 years difference

Most 8 year old’s have a normal life, have friends, go to the park and you know the normal things you would do.

Me…

I was the little girl in the corner, shy and afraid. I shined my brightest when I was on stage. I danced and acted, I joined the choir. I was showing people what I could do so I wasn’t the girl in the corner.  I was bullied a lot because of my learning difficulties and health issues. The stage was my safe place.

12 years lately…

And I’m still the girl on the stage except now, I fight for who I am and what I want to be. I’m now saying I have a better life, but it’s better than before. Sometimes I still think I’m the little girl in the corner but I then remember how far I’ve come, I get up and shine. I just need to remember I am not the shy girl in the corner. I am the girl on the stage. The girl on the stage who doesn’t have to hide who she is .

Never Ending…

Ever wondered what it would be like to be in a never ending maze?

That’s the best way to describe my mind as if I’m stuck repeating the same mistakes everyday. Wherever I’ve been, where ever I am, the loudness constantly screeches in my ears like bats being awoken. My heart is split into a thousand pieces like shattered glass. Within my body crumbles in excruciating pain from running, running miles and miles to end up right back where I started.

 

Dealing with Darkness, a year later, two years in fact… — Ojo De Piedra – Eye of Stone.

How many months or years can a photography project take?, is there a point where one can say “it’s done”? … Luckily in this dehumanized world some still keep their promises (though it took me longer than I expected). Several weeks ago (in fact months) I told in a previous post I was going to […]

via Dealing with Darkness, a year later, two years in fact… — Ojo De Piedra – Eye of Stone.

A Confession Of Love

This is me.. confessing that I am still in love with you.

I hope you think of me. I hope you think of the stainless steel ring pierced in my nose and the brown arch shape of my eyebrows. I hope you think of my beating chest against your body as i breathed for you. It was all for you. I hope you think of my baby blue eyes lighting up as i smiled when i looked at you. And i hope you realise you’ll never see me smile at you again.

I hope it hurts.

I hope each letter of my name are written in black ink on your pulsing heart. And I hope the next person you “fall in love” with sees the marks I left on you. Oh it may not have been good but my goodness it is permanent. I hope their name feels out of place coming off the end of your pink tongue because you were so used to saying my name.

You see, from the very beginning of you walking to my door I wanted to inscribe myself into you. I wanted to insert my signature with gold lettering so it’s forever. I wanted it to look pretty but we were over so fast I had to scratch it into your back with my fingers. I still have our memories encrusted in my mind, every night and every day the thoughts of you and I are that, we are now strangers so all I have left are the the memories of who we were. Who you were when we were together, like I have the shreds of our printed out pictures that I couldn’t quite throw out.

I hope you haven’t let go of me just yet, please don’t tell me if you have. I hope you think of me, because if i’m honest all i do is think about it you